SUBWAY DOUCHERY

a new venture from The Douchery! translationsforyou: by...

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:17:44 -0700

a new venture from The Douchery!

translationsforyou:

by @TheTomSibley

… still can’t believe this happened. SUBWAY...

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:12:41 -0700

… still can’t believe this happened.

SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Nothing Matters

Apprently… ANYTHING GOES! FUCK IT! Let’s start wearing rollerblades on motorcycles! Let’s ride bikes on sailboats! Let’s go all the way and teach horses how to skateboard! Nothing matters if we are letting a guy DRIVE A FUGGIN’ CAR ONTO THE SUBWAY! I don’t know the origins of this picture. Maybe it’s a fake but it certainly looks real to me. The guy looks like he’s parked outside an Outback Steakhouse waiting for his girlfriend to get off work….

And the BRASS COJONES on this friggin’ guy! Did he take en elevator down to the subway? Did he drive it down the stairs like a stunt driver? Did he drive it onto the train or did he put it in neutral and push it on… THEN got in the thing and cracked a magazine LIKE A BOSS! He could also be the world’s biggest asshole. Frankly, this picture has really turned my world upside down.. I need to go for a walk.

ONE MORE THING, every time I see one of this “cars” on the street, I wonder how much strength it would take for one guy to flip it on it’s side.

*** Picture was sent to The Douchery Inbox by Michelle. It’s origins at the moment are UNKNOWN! Bummm Bummmm BUMMMMMMMMMM & Keep on Douchin’ ***

**** And please just follow me on Twitter @TheTomSibley I’m in a horrific mood ****

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Wed, 22 May 2013 12:42:21 -0700

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents… GOOF CITY Ep. 9 Mayoral...

Tue, 21 May 2013 11:26:41 -0700

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents… GOOF CITY Ep. 9 Mayoral Flaps

DOWNLOAD HERE!!!! DOWNLOAD HERE!!! DOWNLOAD HERE!!!

With Chase Bernstein away for this episode, Rob Gleeson and Tom Sibley hang out with comedian Alice Wetterlund from MTV’s Girl Code. Topics discussed include a political snooze fest, fast food breakfast, and the Mc 10:35! Send your own topics to GoofCityPodcast@gmail.com

… it’s a tourist season classic! SUBWAY...

Tue, 21 May 2013 11:19:16 -0700

… it’s a tourist season classic!

SUBWAY DOUCHERY : The Adorable Tourist

Summah, summah, summah.. TIME!!!! It’s that time of year again!!! When the city streets are filled with belly bags (aka fanny packs!) (aka waist sacks!) (aka Buffalo pouches!) worn by turtle walking tourists taking in the hot garbage fumes of The Big Crapple! Accompanied by such extensively advanced camera equipment that I often wonder if they are on a reconnaissance mission for an Eastern European invasion.

Just look at this happy threesome pictured above! They’re hot. They’re sweaty. They’re terrified they are going to miss their stop. But they are UNITED in their love of novelty t-shirts. No interest whatsoever in blending with the locals! They wave their tourist flag high to let every panhandler, bus tour promoter, comedy ticket seller, rap CD provider, breakdancer, bucket drummer, and human robot KNOW that they are here to party!

*** Today’s picture came from The Douchery Reserve. Ever wonder it would be like to see NYC for the first time again? Yea, me neither. Keep on Douchin’ ***

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents… GOOF CITY PODCAST Ep. 8 Chocolate...

Wed, 15 May 2013 11:00:21 -0700

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents…

GOOF CITY PODCAST Ep. 8 Chocolate BBW

The only rules for this podcast were… THERE WERE NO RULES! ANYTHING WENT! Rob did a record number of characters! Chase did banking! Tom did NOT play an acoustic guitar. Other topics discussed include the personalities of pocket change, adolescent forced quiet time, text response etiquette! Send your own topics for us to discuss to GoofCity Podcast@gmail.com

DOWNLOAD HERE! DOWNLOAD HERE! DOWNLOAD HERE!

a classic of classics! SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Siesta de...

Tue, 14 May 2013 06:33:05 -0700

a classic of classics!

SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Siesta de Fuerza

Sometimes, wings are just as good as it gets… no matter how many times you promised yourself that you were going to wait until you got home, that fiery aroma crept up to your delicate nasal passages… and as Neil Young once sang, you were helpless, helpless, helpless. What started out as one “test wing” turned into a full-blown-boney-saucy orgy. It was hard to tell where the wings ended and your fingers began..

But like any good finger food, it leaves you with a deeply content… and a deeply exhausted feeling. As your body fights overtime trying to deal with the onslaught of chicken being ingested, your eyes grow heavy… almost as if a hypnotist with a this pocket watch is lulling you into another dimension filled with more naps.. and MORE CHICKEN! As you fight for that last bite, your body takes over, the lights go out, the take out container of bones and sauce scatters across the floor, and you don’t even hear the other passenger say, “Oh for fuck’s sake!”

**** Mmmmmmm, delicious. Thank you to Robert for sending in this instant classic. Wish I had a side of bleu cheese! Keep on Douchin’ ***

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents.. GOOF CITY PODCAST Ep. 7 Dirty...

Tue, 07 May 2013 12:57:16 -0700

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents.. GOOF CITY PODCAST Ep. 7 Dirty Dirt

Download here! Download here! Download here!

Turns out both Tom and Chase LOVE Bob Seger and think his song Against the Wind is an emotional masterpiece. Not even a podcast can hold Rob back from making plans via cell phone. Other topics include professional wrestling, drawing fruit bowls is hack, and DIRTY DIRT! Send your own topics for us to discuss to GoofCityPodcast@gmail.com

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents GIRTH’s Break Up Breaking up is...

Thu, 02 May 2013 11:20:00 -0700

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents GIRTH’s Break Up

Breaking up is never easy and it can always get way worse. Featuring the jerk that does all of Subway Douchery @TheTomSibley!

Check out all of GIRTH’s videos HERE! HERE! HERE!

translationsforyou: Follow Translations For You!

Wed, 01 May 2013 10:34:00 -0700

translationsforyou:

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think before you sit from 2011! SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Never Sit...

Wed, 01 May 2013 08:00:13 -0700

think before you sit from 2011!

SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Never Sit Again

Next time you take a seat and get comfortable… THINK OF THIS! Next time you are on your way to see your boyfriend in those tight white booty pants he likes… THINK OF THIS! Next time you are honkering down on that Five Dollar Footlong and decide to use the seat next to you for your lunch spread… THINK OF THIS! That is a naked ass… that is the worst possible case scenario becoming a REALITY!

I’d rather the pukers, the heroin users, the stankers, the sleepers, the bucket drummers, the screamers, the teenagers fresh out of schoolers, the flashers, the inappropriate touchers, the door blockers, the mouth breathers, the spread eagle sitters, the loud talkers, the No Room But Still Gonna Pushers, the “Hey man, can I get a swipe?”-ers.. I can see these things. I can avoid them or ignore them or hold my breath etc. But there is no way to fight a bare ass crack if you didn’t know it was there because… the crack will win.

*** A cautionary tale from my man J. who wanted to make sure I didn’t use his name. But here’s his Social Security Number… grab a pen! KIDDING & Keep on Douchin’ ***

download here! SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents GOOF CITY PODCAST ep....

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 11:20:13 -0700

download here!

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents GOOF CITY PODCAST ep. 6 The Bitch Is Back!

With Tom gone, Rob & Chase have the time of their lives. Rob brings out a host of characters including “Jamba Juice Manager”, “Coffee Chugger” and “Dirty TV Remote”. Chase confesses her love for Ben Affleck and shower caps. Other topics include hotel rooms, awful jobs and the word “nectar”. Submit your own topics to GoofCityPodcast@gmail.com

download here!

translationsforyou: Follow Translations For You!

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 11:06:58 -0700

translationsforyou:

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Tue, 30 Apr 2013 08:00:14 -0700

a classic from 2011! SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Stand By Your...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:35:30 -0700

a classic from 2011!

SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Stand By Your Man

…. and show the world you love him… Now I usually try to stay clear of fashion and focus purely on Douchery. But occasionally something is just too damn horrific to pass up! Looking at that t-shirt, so many questions come to mind:

1. Did he purchase it or was it a gift?

2. Is his girlfriend illiterate?

3. Is he illiterate?

4. Am I illiterate?

5. Does he reserve that shirt for special occasions?

6. Is that shirt just so phenomenally comfortable that it could have a swastika on it and he would still gladly wear it?

7. Is this some kind of shame based S&M foreplay?

8. Is he “slow” ?

9. Am I “slow”?

10. Where can I get one of my own?

*** This picture was sent in over a year ago by MEG! I receive thousands of pictures but I assure you I will get to all of them before we all die in 2012. Happy March & Keep on Douchin’ ***

translationsforyou: Follow Translations For You!

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 11:13:07 -0700

translationsforyou:

Follow Translations For You!

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents GOOF CITY EP. 5 The Cat’s...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:49:00 -0700

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents GOOF CITY EP. 5 The Cat’s Away

Follow Goof City Podcast on Tumblr!

Rob Gleeson is on the road, so comedian Matt Ingebretson is taking his seat.. IN STYLE! Without all the ‘tude fastballs usually supplied by Gleeson, Tom Sibley & Chase Bernstein can’t believe how relaxed they are in his absence! Topics discussed include acoustic guitar Jams, people that are too into Halloween, the overuse of “awkward”. Send your own topics to GoofCityPodcast@gmail.com

DOWNLOAD HERE! DOWNLOAD HERE! DOWNLOAD HERE!

Hot Instagram follow: @nickmaritato

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 14:27:34 -0700

Hot Instagram follow: @nickmaritato

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Thu, 18 Apr 2013 12:31:00 -0700

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents… We Need To Talk Real talk with...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 11:34:00 -0700

SUBWAY DOUCHERY presents… We Need To Talk

Real talk with your girlfriend is never easy. Real talk with your best friend wearing huge boobs is so much easier!