SUBWAY DOUCHERY

SUBWAY DOUCHERY : This Is Why The Locals Hate Us

Dear Creator of Subway Douchery,

I recently caught wind that your tired website was planning on posting a picture of me using both my iPhone and my (.. fabulous!) iPad while doing a classic Pole Lean in a crowded subway car. I was both shocked and chagrinned! So much so, I tore my Ralph Lauren horn rimmed glasses off in utter disgust. Just who the hell do you think you are?!?!

Listen here, pal-friend! I usually take taxis like any self respecting Urban-Man-On-The-Go should! But on that day I said out loud to myself, “Let’s see how the other half lives!” and hopped on an uptown train! Surrounded by people that only purchased MetroCards when I purchased a MetroCard… an iPhone… and a fancy iPad!!! Reason enough for the pregnant lady to give up her seat for me… but she REFUSED!  So I took my just deserts and wormed my way against the pole so no one else could use it. No one could blame me for that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go index finer ring shopping!

Good day sir,

Belvedere Nottingham 

*** Thank you to Michael C. for sending in this classic! You are an amazing human being, Michael! Keep on Douchin’ ***

**** SubwayDouchery will still gladly accept donated iPads! Resume Douchin’ ****

Notes:

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   replace this guy with...blazer, nerdy hipster I’m trying too hard eyeglasses, Clark Kent...

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    future busy college student

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