SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Hipster Armstrong
Oh, by gosh, by golly! You did not see this one coming?!? You just bought a vintage Schwinn 10 speed only to find out that fixed gear track bikes were hip! Then you take it outside and WTF?!?! IT’S KINDA COLD OUT!!! How are you going to ride in mid 30 degree temperatures?!? Obviously, you are dressed for exercise. Skin tight corduroy pants? CHECK! Knit cap your girlfriend made for you because she’s “totally into knitting at the moment” ? CHECK! Slip on loafers you stole from your Dad’s closet? CHECK! But actually biking over the Williamsburg Bridge??? Not on your watch! You have cocaine to do! Thank you MetroCard!
So carry that bike up the stairs like a man! Showing all of us what you are really made of! Swinging that back tire around as much as possible! It may be close to hitting people, but they’ll move out of the way! They are all impressed your tiny frame could support such a weight! When you get to street level, straddle that old leather seat and bike all 5 BLOCKS on the sidewalk to meet your friends at the bar! And when they ask, “Oh man! Did you really bike here?” You’ll nonchalantly spark up a Camel Light and respond, “Yeah…no biggie..”
Notes:
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dopecoke liked this
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purposefulandfell reblogged this from subwaydouchery
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le-petit-coquette reblogged this from subwaydouchery and added:
subwaydouchery //
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aloria liked this
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friendlycynic reblogged this from filmandfucking and added:
I love commentary on hipster because they are so spot on!
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tommypenner liked this
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filmandfucking reblogged this from subwaydouchery and added:
Every time I stop...Bedford Ave I can hear Devin’s voice lamenting, “Yup, here come
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milescrawford reblogged this from subwaydouchery and added:
‘Yeah…no biggie..’ “ (Thank you, Rachel…)
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somethinggreat reblogged this from subwaydouchery and added:
hahaha best line : “But
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subwaydouchery posted this
