SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Mr. Sunglasses McShades
Yeah, bro! You know it! Rock those Oakleys you used to ski in before you inherited your executive ponch and mild drinking problem! You may have stayed out too late on a Tuesday night! Had a few too many vodka & sodas (yeah, club soda! Gotta cut those calories where you can!) and then three slices of buffalo wing pizza for some late night eats! But you composed yourself. You strapped on that blue button down and those B. Rep khakis like a FUCKING BADGE OF HONOR!
…and you’re still wearing your shades. WORD! You earned the right to wear sunglasses under ground where they are completely unnecessary. But if anyone says anything, just do what the pros do! Quickly reply, “Oooh jeez! Forgot I had them on!”
