SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Shaved
** WATCH THIS VIDEO! WATCH THIS VIDEO! **
I always wanted to start a Douchery post with the following line….. CHECK OUT THESE FOUR-ALARM-ASSHOLES! Sorry for the brash intro but I’m hung over and in a bit of a mood. Then I see these two geniuses, and I flipped my bill. Frankly, she appears to be drunk and Captain Cue Ball seems to be enjoying this shave session perhaps a bit too much. It’s like watching some weird four play ritual that always ends in an empty six packs of wine coolers, bodily fluids strewn about, and a hairless dude.
But every villain needs a hero, and we’ve got one right here! Look at the gentleman sitting to the left. THAT’S A NEW YORKER! He’s got a seat. He’s got a newspaper. You can do whatever you want next to him and as long as there is no eye contact! Because he’s been working all day and doesn’t have to buy into whatever weird shit you’re doing for attention. If these two goofballs ever read this blog… I’m only joking around! Nothing but love because the two of you look like you’ve done jail time.
*** Big thanks to Brian! He’s always looking out for The Douchery. Check out his website BrianGrosz.com & Keep on Douchin’ ***
SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Butts
Jeez louise! This picture is quite a firecracker! Quite a few questions come to mind when gazing upon it and I will attempt answer those questions now:
Is it photoshopped? Yeah, probably.
Does The Douchery need everyone pointing that out? Yeah, if y’all wanna be sticks in the mud and ruin the fun! ENJOY THE WIN!
Did WE photoshop it? No. If we had that ability, everyone on this website would have crazy big butts. TRUTH!
Do we see anything wrong with this picture? Any number of sanitary issues could be brought up.. that being said, we are staunch supporters of big butts.
Are there better ways to keep your balance on the train? Hell, we can’t think of any!
*** Oh boy! We got this picture quite a bit but first over the plate was Patrick! Thanks Paddy! Nice try saying it was taken last week in NYC (it wasn’t) & Keep on Douchin’ ***
SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Children Are The Worst
I don’t know if any children read this blog… and chances are they shouldn’t. If I had to give the blog a rating it would be PG-13, so COME ONE, COME ALL THIRTEEN YEAR OLDS! (I am aware how horrible that sounds) But anything younger, y’all can hit the skidz! And frankly, I don’t want these little “World Revolves Around ME!” ingrates, covered in mud and cookies, soiling their parents lap tops with their greasy little fingers to read Subway Douchery…
Pictured above is a broken man/father at the moment his husky razor-scooterin’ son breaks his spirit. A dear friend of The Douchery took this artful photo and told us that the father was doing all that he could to control his son but to no avail. His chubby offspring chose to dishonor his own father and continue his live performance of running over people’s toes. If I could get this kid alone in a room, with a legal guardian (I’m not gross!), I’d tell him to grow the hell up, get a job, and listen to his father. Also, hit the elliptical fatty! Razor Scooterin’ may seem like fun but it’s a meager calorie burn!
*** Photo was a unauthorized lift from @rondazed Instagram! A must follow on both accounts! Have a wonderful Monday y’all & Keep on Douchin’ ***